TCACS – Technically Challenged and Completely Screwed
Posted: Friday, November 25, 2011
by Brianna Popsickle
As I lay on the couch, snuggled up in my housecoat, my favourite throw draped over me, I could still hear it. The old gloomy tune playing over and over again. The music was coming from the front porch.
It was coming from the porch because that’s where I’d thrown the electronic gizmo that was blasting the ghastly tune.
Have you ever ordered a subscription to a magazine and for doing so, been sent a free gift?
When he came home I handed it to him and said, “Here. It’s your gift for ordering the magazine. Now you’ll be one of the cool people.”
“What is it?” he asked, staring at it blankly.
“I’m not sure,” I replied. “It looks like it could be one of those day-planner things everyone seems to have.”
“Hmmmm.” he said, checking it over. “It has a timer on it. Maybe I’ll use it.”
“Use it for what,” I laughed, knowing he was the last person to care about the latest gadgets.
“I don’t know,” he said defensively. “Maybe I’ll use it to time my egg in the morning.”
And so he did.
Each morning, when his egg was cooked, I’d awaken to this God-awful melody coming from the kitchen. The tune it played was slow and somber, and reminded me of a death march.
He’d done it. He managed to set the timer. But for whatever reason, it would go off randomly throughout the day. I’d hit the snooze button and it would stop only to start again. Not once, but twice, I became so frustrated I threw it out the front door.
This was one such day. I hadn’t been feeling well. I was aching all over and had a fever. All I wanted was peace and quiet and when the alarm played and I couldn’t shut it off, I threw it out the front door.
I returned to the sofa and lay back down only to realize I could still hear it playing from outside.
@#$##@!
Apparently, I hadn’t thrown it far enough.
We are admittedly a ‘technically’ challenged couple. Is there support group for that? Because if there isn’t, there should be. Surely we aren’t alone?
I have to admit though, sometimes it seems our friends are passing us by when it comes to the latest technology. We attempt to arrange a date for dinner, and while we’re grabbing a pen and reaching for our calendar, they’re whipping out their Blackberry.
We thought we were doing well when we (much to our children’s delight) mastered the technique of downloading music to our ipods. But no sooner had we got comfortable with that, everything changed. We’re working out at the gym to the same music we downloaded five years ago and it’s wearing a little thin, let me tell ya.
We were discussing the situation with a couple over dinner one evening. Our host said, ‘Oh you mean you haven’t heard of X? You have to use X. It’s so easy, just do this, and then this, and you can listen to any song, anytime!’ They proceeded to taunt us, asking us to call out the name of a song (any song), which they instantaneously began to play.
Since that evening, we’ve both muttered the words, “I should really take the time to look into X.” But neither of us has made a move. Once I heard my husband telling someone all about X. “You haven’t heard of X? You can play any song, anytime.”
Yeah. He’s cool.
We still share a cell phone.
Don’t ask us the number.
We only purchased one after a car accident, deciding it was the responsible thing to do. You never know when you may need it.
Turns out we never need it. We never use it. We charge it, and we pay for it, but we never use it.
Once I had it in my purse when I was attending a meeting out of town. I was the first to hear a phone ringing. I looked at my boss and asked, “Is that your phone?” He checked. It wasn’t. The ringing stopped.
Moments later I heard it again. (I don’t know about you, but I find it a little rude when people don’t turn their phones off during meetings.)
I leaned to the girl next to me and said a little indignantly, “Ah, I think your phone is ringing.” She checked. It wasn’t.
By the end of the meeting, everyone (except me) had checked their phone.
When I arrived home that evening, my daughter called and asked, “Where have you been? I was trying you all morning, I even tried your cell.”
Oops.
One of my New Year’s resolutions is going to be, to make an effort to get comfortable with the latest technology.
But somehow, just thinking about it makes me uneasy. I’m fearful I may be getting a GPS for Christmas. Everyone who knows me knows, I’m not just technologically challenged; I’m geographically challenged too!
I’m scared to death. I know of a woman who drove her children to a hockey tournament from their small town in Ontario, Canada, to a large city in the United States. Her GPS got her to her destination perfectly, but once there she became so overwhelmed driving in the city (okay, I’ll tell you, it was New York City), she programmed her GPS to return home immediately.
Many hours later she arrived in a town of the same name as her hometown the only problem being, it was in the United States. She’d traveled hours in the wrong direction, but had followed her GPS to the letter.
Like I said, “There should be a support group.”
We’ll call it, TCACS. Technically Challenged and Completely Screwed.
This Article has been viewed 386 times. (Not updated in real-time.)
Top-level comments on this article: (6 total)Hi Brianna.
Bernd and I have cell phones. We charge them and pay for them and NEXT to never use them. :)
I do turn it on when I leave the house to run all of my errands on Fridays just in case Bernd has some sort of emergency and needs to get a hold of me. I am so shocked when it starts ringing from my purse. I can hardly believe it. It usually isn't him ... it's cell phone spam. Sometimes, I forget to turn it off and it will ring in the middle of the night. Luckily, it lives in my purse and so it isn't too loud. It does wake me though, but not my ear-plug wearing husband.
I like the idea of TCACS and I would like to be a member. But the thing is, I'm not sure that I care whether or not I can handle the latest technology. I probably should ... but I secretly just keep hoping it's a phase the rest of the world is going through and that it will soon pass.
Loved your story!
Hugs,
DianneThat's too funny Dianne (about yours ringing through the night.) The same has happened to us, Only it's the battery getting low and we have to hunt for the phone to place it on the charger. I think this phase is going to be around for a while. But I hear ya. Thanks for reading I enjoyed your comment.
I have finally eliminated bathtub rings, by getting an unlisted bathroom!Aren't you clever? :)
I love when you put on a new article Bri- I know I'm fixin' to get a spirit-lifting chuckle...:)- Good times...Always EllaLove it that I can make you chuckle Ella! Nice to hear from you.
Amen to what Ella said.
I was in the movies once and the woman next to me made a huge noise eating her popcorn, scrabbling about in the box. I got so annoyed with her. Then half way through the movie my cell phone rang! She was very amused. I crept under the seat.
I laughed all the way through this Brianna and I LOVED reading that you have one cell phone between you and you don't use it! That is so cool.Well I'm nothing if I'm not cool Jennifer.:) Our phone is not the sophisticated Eye Phone or Blackberry, it's the old fashioned flip-top type. My husband puts one hand over his ear when he's talking on it (which is rare), it's quite a scene. I hear you about the popcorn though, that is annoying. Or when they try to unwrap candy slowly through the movie. You want to yell, "Just rip it open already!" So nice to hear from you!
I love this. People constantly call me insane cos i choose to use a road map instead of getting a GPS. I find gadgets so... unnecessary and stifling. It ruins a certain quality to life and makes people more robotic and distanced. Gadgets give people a reason never to socialise, be it a laptop, cellphone, GPS or playstation. So i take my hat off to people who dont succumb to the trends. Sure, some things are necessary to keep up with so that u are completely lost, but whats wrong with taking down dates with a pen and page? Or not using a cellphone? I think its awesome!Thank you Tharuna! At least we've mastered the technology to be writing and reading on WryteStuff! That's a start!
Love it Brianna. I can see this story in a stand-up routine and it would be a raving success. Clever, cute and so Brianna. Enjoy reading your stories and you always make me smile and chuckle.
We want your comments! If you can read this, you don't have javascript enabled, so you can't use this comment system. Please enable javascript.