Sluggin It Out ‘Til The End
Posted: Wednesday, September 28, 2011
by Brianna Popsickle
I have a friend who’s been through terrible financial and personally tragic times. He and his family have endured a lot. Many couples would have split after all they’ve gone through, but they’re still together. He explained to me that, now, more than ever, he needed a partner he knows will slug it out ‘til the end.
I thought about what he’d said, and about how when we’re young and falling in love, ‘someone who will slug it out ‘til the end’, never enters our mind. We don’t think that far into the future. At least I never did.
When my brother-in law met my boyfriend, he said one thing: ‘Don’t get too attached. Guys like that don’t hang around long.’
My boyfriend was a journalist who’d just enrolled in an underwater welding course. His plan was to travel the world filming underwater documentaries.
Even though I knew what my brother-in-law had said was true, I ignored his advice and proceeded to fall head over heels for a self-professed drifter.
As it turned out, he fell for me too. I think there’s something to the claim, opposites attract.
For the first few years of our marriage, we adapted, or more truthfully, he adapted. Suddenly faced with responsibility and mortgage payments, my drifter began to change. With the birth of our first child, our daughter, he all but disappeared.
When I say disappeared, I don’t mean he fled the scene. I mean the drifter I once knew was gone. But the man I fell in love with had become a wonderful husband and father, putting the needs of his family ahead of all else.
Along with the birth of our second child, came career changes, relocating, illnesses, deaths, robberies and more. You name it, we experienced it . . . together.
Some of the things we’d gone through, much like the friend I mentioned earlier, would be enough to cause a couple to split. There is a limit to how much stress a relationship can endure.
When you’re young and falling in love, you see everything through rose-coloured glasses, and the future is bright. You can’t imagine the responsibility of raising a family, or what it will be like to experience financial hardship, or suffer a loss.
What then? Where will that person be? Will they support you, encourage you, and be there for you?
It’s been estimated that forty percent of all marriages end in divorce.
One thing I’ve discovered is people change, and sometimes it’s for the better. If you leave a realtionship at the first sign of hardship, you’re denying yourself the opportunity to discover the true meaning of the word love.
Turns out, ‘for better or worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health,’ actually has meaning, that is if you stay in a relationship long enough to put it to the test.
My husband is not the same man I married twenty-seven years ago, he’s a better man. Over the years he’s shown me he will be there through it all.
When looking for someone to spend the rest of your life with, ask yourself that simple question, does this person have what it takes to slug it out ‘til the end? Because in the end, that’s what everyone needs in a partner.
This Article has been viewed 396 times. (Not updated in real-time.)
Top-level comments on this article: (10 total)My next anniversary is 40. I don't want to talk about it!Forty? Wow! I'll know where to go for marital advice if I need any. Thanks for reading Jack.
Man calls 911 and says "I think my wife is dead". The operator says how do you know? He says "The sex is still the same, but the ironing is building up!"
Yes Paul. A return to stand-up is definitely in order. :)
Brianna, the whole episode was like I was the one (in you) writing this out. I want to say the things have been said (by you)
I was thinking the present divorce rate is 50% up...Actually divorce rates (depending on what province you're looking at) had decreased slightly in some places but so had the marriage rate. People less willing to commit, I suppose. Thanks for reading and commenting Hilda!
"If you leave a realtionship at the first sign of hardship, you’re denying yourself the opportunity to discover the true meaning of the word love."
Brianna - that is excellent! And very true, Thanks for sharing some of your life and wisdom!Thanks Lorrie. I appreciate hearing from you!
And that's what makes us better for each other, as we stick with each other. He could write the same about you. Life's wonderful workings combined with our short life span should tell us all that short of outright rejection, abject hatred or violence, the one across from you is the one you should keep.
And praise to you two for the beautiful love and crystalizing appreciation of each other. Couples in Marriage together are like a constantly appreciating stock that you own not because of its street value, but because of the Dividends. A good marriage pays double digit dividends. If you get 10% on a virtually unchanging stock, you will be RICH after a few years. Amen, and Amen to old marriages that go on. We are all selfish as we become selfless. Hail to you and he.We've reaped the dividends in the way of two well-adjusted, happy kids. Thank you Christofer for your kind words. Always good to hear from you.
Hi Brianna.
That is really good advice. Wish I'd gotten it ... but turns out I didn't need it. :) HOORAY! Still, there are so many things those older than us can teach us and never do. Pooh.
Sometimes when you listen to your heart instead of your head (or brother in this case), things turn out for the best. My mom very much did not want me to marry Bernd. 36 years of marriage and 41 years of total togetherness proved her head wrong and my heart right.
Hugs,
DianneIsn't it nice to be right sometimes? Good thing you followed your heart Dianne! Like I told my son once when he wanted to do something his dad didn't approve of, 'sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do.' Who knows better than you, what you, need! Thanks for reading.
Amen Brianna. I wish I had found that with my kids Mom. When things got tough she wouldnt get up to go bat. Then when she did get up she left the ballpark. I dont think I can ever Love any woman like I loved her. I would rather be alone than go through all the pain again.Never say never Chad. I'm sorry it didn't work out for you. I hope you find someone to share your life with again. All the best, Brianna
I love reading about your marriage, Brianna. It gives me hope that I can have the same. My marriage couldn't have lasted and I'm okay with that now. I haven't wanted another until the last couple of years. But now I do. I want the whole caboodle, and definitely want somebody who's going to slug it out til the end!I guess one never really knows, til you get to the end. LOL It's worth waiting for Jennifer. I know you'll find it. :) BriannaLOL :)
Enjoyed reading this article. Nice that you shared your experiences in your love life.Thanks for reading Jessie. I appreciate it.
I always say, "Never let the good one get away." Congrats to you both!He definitely is a good one. Thanks Heidi.
We want your comments! If you can read this, you don't have javascript enabled, so you can't use this comment system. Please enable javascript.