Sage Advice - Never Marry Until You Find a Man with a Golden Ass
Posted: Wednesday, July 27, 2011
by Brianna Popsickle
As a teen I spent a fair bit of time with the elderly. I guess you could say I was somewhat of an old soul. I worked as a retouch artist and often took my lunch to my paternal grandparents just a few blocks away, to visit with them. My maternal grandmother, who lived well into her nineties, lived with us for many years.
While my friends did what they could to get away from their parents and grandparents, I enjoyed spending time with them. I felt that anyone who lived to be their age, must have everything figured out. They must know the secret to getting so far in life. I thought if I listened carefully and long enough, they would reveal it to me. I welcomed their advice and hoped they would point me in the right direction.
“Das messer, gobel, loffel . . .”
She’d also tell me old stories of when she was young. She’d worked hard all her life. My grandfather, who had passed away years earlier had been a master gardener and artist. He liked to do things his own way and as a result changed jobs often. My grandmother, being a very skilled seamstress, took in sewing and laundry to make ends meet while raising four children. She was a strong woman but always a lady. I was sure there was a lot I could learn from her and patiently waited for her to share words of wisdom with me.
Then one night as we were doing dishes, it happened.
I was telling her about a crush I had on a boy at school. Suddenly she stopped what she was doing, looked me square in the eyes and said, “Brianna, don’t get married until you find a man with a golden ass. And remember,” she added, “it’s better to be a rich man’s pet than a poor man’s slave.”
There it was. Years of spending time with my grandparents waiting for them to reveal the secret to getting through whatever life had to throw at me and all I got was, ‘Don’t get married until you find a man with a golden ass.’
What the hell was that?
My life went on and I finished school. I fell in love and experienced all the usual milestones in a person’s life. At each step I remember thinking, once I’ve graduated I’ll have things figured out, once I’m married everything will fall into place. And when we were expecting our first child I thought, Surely once I’m a mother, I’ll have all the answers.
Then one day I was speaking to my mother who was in her fifties at the time. My husband was changing careers, we were moving away and life wasn’t unfolding the way we’d planned.
“I can’t wait till I’m your age and have everything under control,” I said to her.
“Is that what you think? That I have everything under control?” she laughed. “No one has all the answers.”
And there it was, the words of wisdom I’d been looking for. There was no secret to life. There were no answers.
No one can tell you how to live your life because it’s your life, and you have to live it.
Having said that, if someone were to ask me for advice on how to live life, I’d tell them to follow their heart and not be afraid to make mistakes, but to learn from them.
Most importantly, I’d tell them to be who they are, and not who others want them to be.
If they could learn to do that, I think they’d have a good chance at being happy.
As for my grandmother’s advice, I may not have met a man with a golden ass, but I came close. Most days, I think my husband’s pretty golden.
This Article has been viewed 1,364 times. (Not updated in real-time.)
More commentsNo woman on earth would choose me, if she had to listen to your grandmother. But she was being realistic no doubt. In my case it is the hen that lays golden eggs who has to choose me! :DMy husband didn't have two cents when we got married, at least he never had to wonder if I married him for his money. Lol Thanks for reading and commenting. Nice to hear from you.
What a treat, to read something by you again, Brianna! I adore your quirky sense of humor and your wisdom about life and I always feel grounded by what you write. I laughed at your grandmother's advice and if those were the only two options I'd agree with her. Doesn't sound like she was either a pet or a slave, though, but was her own person.
I didn't know you were a touch-up artist. How did you get into that, and when did you stop?Thanks for the kind words Jennifer. My grandmother (although very much a lady, never once saw her wear pants, always a dress, was a tough cookie I think). As for the retouching, I took my portfolio to a photographer when I was in Grade ten and he hired me. I did retouching for thousands of wedding, graduation, and baby photos for about three years. I never did anything else art related after that until my husband gave me art lessons with an amazing artist for Christmas one year. I took about six classes and began doing portraits. I'm okay, but my son's amazing. Musically and artistically. These days any spare time I have is spent writing or gardening. But really, there's never enough spare time. :) Hope you are on the mend Jennifer. Thanks for reading, I appreciate your support as always.
I laughed out loud! I love this. I also feel that I am officially a success - I followed your grandmother's advice and found a man with a golden ass and married him!
"No one has it all together" - I'm glad I learned that one too.
You come from a long line of wise women, Ms Popsickle! Love your writing, your wit, your style!Now Bruce's secret is out. He has a golden ass! Lol Thanks for reading and for your kind words Jean. I appreciate hearing from you!
How wonderful to seek answers and come up with some from an older but wiser person - even though the answers you get leave you wanting more. Your heartfelt remembrances of your grandmother and your mother speak in this article, and abound with your love. How wonderful to share with us - and what truly amazing role models they must have been. Loved the way to told us to let your heart lead the way and let life unfold. Happy for you that you have a golden hubby!They were good role models, hard-working and honest. Thanks for reading and commenting!
Hi Brianna.
I finally got some time to read your article. I'd been anticipating it quite a lot because of the title. That's a great title and your article lived up to it. Goodness, but that was fun!
My paternal grandmother had one piece of advice for me on the day Bernd and I got married and that was never go to bed angry ... always kiss and make up first. It actually was pretty good advice.
Anyway, thanks for the fun!
Hugs,
DianneHaving read many stories about your Bernd, I think he is pretty golden as well Dianne! Thanks for reading and commenting!
I like the title Grandma's are great. Isn't it weird that the most simple things like being yourself escape us until we are true adults. We are told this from an early age but we don't hear it it's amazing to me.Hey Chad. Yes, Grandma's are great! I hope to be one one day. (Not anytime too soon though.) Thanks for reading and for joining my fan club. I do appreciate it.
Brianna, who could resist such a provocative title? I suppose a golden ass is better than a lead one though both may weigh you down. Funny though, Ya just never hear anyone yelling, "Get the gold out!" Fun read. Smiles, JohnSome women may look for a man with a golden ass, I look for characteristics like integrity and a sense of humour. Your wife struck gold John. Nice hearing from you.
Brianna, how on earth do you receive soo many views in only a couple of days?
Do tell, what is your secret.
Great, Kellie Hastings
Kacy Carr would be the person to ask about getting lots of views Kellie and many others on SearchWarp who get far more views than me! I don't think there's any secret really. Thank you for reading though, I appreciate it.
I think Jennifer and I, despite our very different lives, share many similar thoughts and feelings on many aspects of life. As for figuring out what life's about, even at this age, there are many days I still feel I haven't a clue. I'm glad you stopped by to read there Mo? Curly? And appreciate your 'hooked by the content' comment. Thanks Gregory.
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