A Woman’s Work is Never Done
Posted: Sunday, June 05, 2011
by Brianna Popsickle
I lay in bed reciting the long list of things I was going to accomplish the next day. Laundry was at the top of the list.
“Well, that’s not happening,” my husband said. Despite his efforts, the drain in the laundry tub was plugged. He asked me to wait until he had time to give it a better look.
I had lots of other things to do so woke up early the next morning full of good intentions.
After my workout I got into the van and caught a glimpse of my son’s bike in the back. I hadn’t noticed it before and knew he needed it to get to work . . . half an hour earlier.
Crap.
I raced home and found he’d already started walking. It was rainy and cold and he wasn’t impressed. “I was supposed to be in early today too,” he lamented. I told him to hop in and I’d drive him to work.
By the time I got home I was way behind schedule. I decided to shower later and got right into my cleaning. I dusted and vacuumed then scrubbed the ceramic tile and polished the hardwood floors until they shone.
I put ground beef in a pan on the stove to make lasagna later.
I smiled as I noticed my husband’s shirt hanging from the china cabinet in the dining room. He’d asked days ago if I could iron it when I got a chance. He’d been moving it from room to room, hoping to get my attention.
I set up the ironing board in the den and went into the laundry room to retrieve a couple of myshirts that needed ironing. I looked at the laundry hamper and thought of the bedding I wanted to wash.
I could be doing it right now, I thought. I remembered my husband asking me to wait but I ran some water in the laundry tub anyway. It was extremely slow, but the water drained eventually. What harm could it do? The laundry tub was bigger than the machine so it wouldn’t overflow. I loaded the bedding into the machine, happy to stroke one more thing off my list.
I returned to the den and started ironing.
Minutes later I heard the wash cycle stop followed by a gushing sound. I ran to the laundry room. The plastic laundry tub was full of water but it had cracked along the side and water was gushing from three places. I grabbed two pails and positioned them but one leak was still shooting out the side and onto the floor.
The pails were filling up quickly so I ran to empty them into the toilet nearby. As I did, the water had nowhere to go but onto the floor. What was I going to do? I had to stop the leak! Suddenly it hit me. Duct tape! Didn’t men use that to fix everything?
I repositioned the pails then ran to the garage. I found the duct tape and raced downstairs. The dog started barking so I ran back up to let her out. I returned and frantically tried to apply the tape.
The outside of the tub was wet and the tape wouldn’t adhere. The pails were catching some of the water but one leak was still pouring onto the floor. As I grabbed the mop, I knocked over the dog dish full of dry food. Now there was soapy water and dog food everywhere. My socks were soaked. I quickly rolled up my pant legs. I kept at the duct tape and finally got it to seal the cracks and stop the leaking. I was still cleaning up when the smoke detector went off.
Beep! Beep! Beep!
My ground beef!
I flew up the stairs stubbing my toe on the ironing board on the way by. The meat was burnt to a crisp. It was smoking so I quickly opened the door to throw the pan outside. As the door opened, the dog darted inside. The smoke detector was still blasting and the dog, excited, ran a loop through the house tracking mud all over my freshly scrubbed floors!
I fanned the smoke detector and went to the laundry room to get the mop. I was relieved to see the duct tape still holding. But then I smelled something coming from the den.
My shirt! When I’d bumped the ironing board earlier the iron must have toppled. I held up my singed white shirt.
!#$#@!#$
Just then the phone rang. It was an elderly friend in a panic. She had a doctor’s appointment and her ride just called to cancel.
I unplugged the iron and grabbed my keys, catching a glimpse of myself in the mirror on the way out: gym clothes and messy hair, I was a frazzled mess. Just great.
I’ll just wait in the car for her during her appointment, I thought.
Who was I kidding? She used a walker and there was no way she was getting in and out without help.
Why is it the day you least want to be seen is the day you run into people?
“Brianna. Brianna is that you?” I heard from across the parking lot.
Ugh. I slowly turned around to see a woman I’d worked with years ago. Of course she was dressed to the nines. She looked me up and down then gave me a sympathetic look. “Brianna. How have you been dear?”
I gave a quick answer and said I had to get my friend inside. I buried my face in a magazine while I sat in the waiting room thinking of all of the things I should be getting done. The woman next to me asked me to pass her a magazine. As I turned, I caught her glancing at my feet. I looked down to see my pants still rolled halfway to my knees.
Beautiful.
“I had a bit of a flood, ” I said, daring her to ask me more. She didn’t.
I drove my friend to get a prescription filled before dropping her off. I just got home when the phone rang. It was my son needing a ride home from work. He was in a rush saying he had only an hour change and eat dinner before beginning his shift at his second part-time job.
Dinner! Where had the day gone?
I thought of the burnt ground beef in the fry pan on the deck.
I threw a frozen pizza in the oven and left to pick him up.
As we returned, my husband was arriving home as well.
“Dinner will be ready shortly,” I said.
I plopped the store-bought pizza on the table.
“I thought we were having lasagna tonight,” my husband said, disappointed.
“Well, we’re not,” I replied.
I noticed him looking past me with a puzzled look on his face. I turned around to see his un-ironed shirt still hanging there.
Damn.
His eyes moved from the shirt to me. I was in the same clothes as when he left in the morning. He looked at the pizza then glanced around the room focusing on the floor still covered in mud.
Then, taking his life in his hands, he asked in the nicest possible voice, “What have you been doing all day?”
. . .
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Top-level comments on this article: (4 total)Brianna, take my advice. Sometimes you have to close one eye and open the other to escape getting yourself into this mess since housework is never done. Don't expect too much in a row coz we aren't machines. Press ON and OFF it's done.
Interesting but breath taking as well.Good advice Hilda. I will try that! Thanks for reading and commenting.
Oh My Goodness! What a hoot, Brianna! You did it again. You are a better person than I, however. [Just checked on line to see if that should have been - than me. No definitive answer.] Had someone phoned me for a ride, I think, in that particular situation, I would have declined.
Keep writing. Your articles are always such a joy.You know how you often catch yourself saying, "Just call if you ever need anything?" It never fails that it happens at exactly the wrong time. Anyway, my husband's shirt got ironed eventually and the drain and laundry tub got fixed. Never a dull moment! Nice to hear from you Nancy! Thanks.
Dude, There isn't any comment in the world that would do this justice. I'm crying and laughing with you.....and I'm smacking your husband too :-)I LOVE it! By the way, have I mentioned my computer speakers are still not working Teresa? We're thinking it may be a computer issue. I need Dianne Lehmann to come for a visit. After reading about her changing her own oil, I'm certain she could have had my speakers fixed by now and my laundry tub and drain fixed too! Nice to hear from you. Now stop smacking my husband. :)
Brianna, great writing. Of course, its the title that sets it all up. I was reading along, and saying, "Yeah. She's having a tough day." Then I read the comments, all women, and they all said it was funny. What was funny about it? I was rooting for you to get on top of things. Then, I realized, "Oh, I get it."
Just kidding. Keep writing, you have a gift.My husband has had similar days but for him it's things like rain on days he planned to golf or the game he was wanting to watch not being televised. Nothing so serious as the set backs we women face on a daily basis. I'm kidding, and yes I will keep writing. Thank you for the compliment Christofer. I appreciate it.
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