The Gift That Keeps On Giving, and Giving and Giving …
Posted: Thursday, May 05, 2011
by Brianna Popsickle
One thousand two hundred and eleven.
No that’s not the amount of money I have in my chequing account and it isn’t the amount I spent on shoes last year, nor is it the number of hours I’ve spent on my computer.
One thousand two hundred and eleven. is the number of address labels I have sitting in my desk drawer. Most of them are very colorful and pretty. Some have little birds and birdhouses on them. Some have pictures of bees and insects, fish and puppies. Others have beautiful flowers while others have smiley faces. One thousand two hundred and eleven very feminine labels each with my husband’s name and address on them.
It’s no secret I’ve kept Hallmark in business over the years. Like most, I send cards for the usual special occasions like birthdays, Christmas, anniversaries etc. But I especially like sending Thinking of You cards and Just Because cards. I know how happy I am to receive them (actually I know how happy I would be to receive them) and I like to do that for other people. My husband makes fun of me saying, I send thank you notes for thank you notes. (Of course he’s exaggerating, I’ve only done that a couple of times when the thank you note I received was exceptional!).
I love that there is a card for everything now. I actually bought one that read, ‘I don’t know what went wrong but I’m sorry and want to fix it.’ I thought that was so cool. I still have it and may just have to pick a fight with someone in order to use it.
I pride myself on taking my time in choosing just the right card. Sometimes when I’m browsing the card section I’ll see the perfect one and even though the special occasion is months away I’ll purchase it and set it aside. Often I forget I have it and when the time comes I go out and purchase another. That’s okay though there are lots of occasions. Can you ever have too many cards on hand?
Yes! The answer is yes! So why do I have one hundred thirty-seven cards and one thousand two hundred and eleven labels to mail them with? Well, it’s certainly not because I purchased them all! Do you think I’m nuts?
It began a few months ago when my husband made a donation to a charity. Weeks later he received a thank you along with an envelope full of flowery labels with his name on them. Labels he’d never use. Days passed and he started receiving similar packages from other charitable organizations, along with requests for donations. We made a couple of additional donations and within no time we were receiving packages of labels from every organization we’d heard of and some we hadn’t.
At first we laughed realizing his name had been put on some sort of mailing list. How long could it last? Then we began receiving not only labels but greeting cards as well. One organization glued nickels onto their packages.
Despite numerous attempts by my husband via mail, telephone and email, to stop them, they kept coming. Many times he wrote, ‘Please Stop Sending’ on a package and put it back in the mail, but today I arrived home to yet another package.
I figure we’ll never move since we have a lifetime of mailing labels for this address, and I’ll have to start sending cards to friends of friends in order to use up my supply, that or open my own card shop.
I’m beginning to wonder how much of our donation got to where we’d intended it to go and how much went towards the assembling and distribution of the packages. Not to mention the salaries of the employees doing the processing.
I’m wondering how many other people are receiving packages. Does everyone have an extra thousand labels and dozens of greeting cards stashed in a drawer?
More than anything though, I’m wondering what we’d be getting if we’d donated more. Would we be getting framed autographed prints delivered? Would there be quarters glued to the packages? If we donated even more, would we get free tickets to the opera?
I guess what I really want to know is, how much do I have to donate to get Enrique Iglesias to hand deliver labels to my door each month?
I figure if I’m going to receive the gift that keeps on giving, it might as well be something I’ll enjoy.
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Top-level comments on this article: (8 total)Brianna,
I have not written or commented in so long but I had to give my kudos to this! You always made me laugh and again you did it with this one so I tweeted it. Thanks for a wonderful article.
NancyI'm glad I started your day off with a laugh Nancy! Thanks for reading and TWEETING! That's sweet.
The VA (veterans administration) sends me labels I can never use. Only because I donated a little at one time.It would make sense that they send them once and be done with it don't you think? Oh well, what can we do? Thanks for reading David!
You always make me smile, Brianna, but I have to know - do you count them all? or keep a tally? For the record, a couple times a year we receive address labels though I have never counted them. Thanks for sharing your musings!I did a rough guesstimate for the labels (so many a page). Sadly there are probably actually more than that. Funny thing is the day I published this article I received a package with labels, cards AND a very pretty gift bag. I hadn't even donated to that cause (yet). Just crazy! By the way, I"m glad I made you smile. And I think I remember reading somwhere that you are going to be a grandmother again? Congratulations and Happy Mother's Day Lorrie!
Brianna-I have to admit this stuff doesn't really interest me, but I like your writing style so much you force me to read this stuff. You could write about an old, use tissue and I'd probaly get sucked into reading that too-I guess that is what Art is...now, if you ever wrote about the workings of a steam engine, that would be a deadly combination.Well isn't that sweet. (I think.) I'll google steam engines and see what I can come up with Bing, just for you. Seriously, I take that as a real compliment that you enjoy my style, because as you know, I am a huge fan of your style as well. Thank you.
Hi Brianna.
I love your sense of humor!
I've been in the same boat you find yourselves now. For me, it took about two years of sending them back and not sending them any money to finally get off of all those mailing lists.
I've never counted the cards or return address labels, but I bet it could rival your collection! :) I've also received calendars and gift wrapping paper with matching note cards.
One organization that I will not name became so upset (?) with my lack of response to their "gifts" that they sent me the most disgusting and horrible set of photographs of sick and mistreated animals. I vowed never again to send them a single penny and I have not.
I think most charitable organizations (at least here in the States) are required to make available the information about how much of your donation actually goes to help the situation for which they are collecting it. But they are not required to make that information easy to retrieve. My feelings are that it is probably not nearly as large a percentage as I would like.
Anyway, I loved your story ... as I always do.
Hugs,
DianneGift wrapping paper with matching gift cards? I haven't got to that level yet Dianne. But if Enrique Iglesias shows up at your door I hope you'll remember me and let me know how much$$$ it took. :) Thanks for reading. And I always enjoy your comments. :)
Well, Brianna, some day waaay out there, when you reach those Golden Years (as moi) you'll look at that new batch of little stickers and say "Wow maybe I am alive, here's new ones with my name on 'em." Enjoyed. : ) JohnWe made the donations, but as pretty as the labels are, they all have my husband's name on them. Oh well. I'm glad you enjoyed this article John. And just for the record, Goldlen Years or not, you don't look a day over fifty. :)
I second what Christofer French said, Brianna! This is so clever and funny in a way only you know how to do! You had me chuckling in the beginning and hooting with laughter by the time I got to the end!Nothing like a good chuckle! :) Thanks Jennifer. Happy to give you a laugh!
Brianna! I have a box full of them too! I don't know why I didn't toss them when I moved, but hey, maybe someday, I will move back to that same address. I agree, what is the percentage that actually goes to need and not to the administration? Very funny, thanks for the laugh and I think you better start dishing out lots of dough or you might end up with Julio at your door instead! :-)That's so funny that you would keep them when they have your old address on them. Thanks for reading and commenting Teresa. (Oh, and Julio could also deliver labels to my door anytime!) :)LOL - I wouldn't mind if Johnny Depp showed up at more door :-)I absolutely love this! You are very cool Teresa Ortiz. :)
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