Are You an Underachiever?
Posted: Saturday, April 02, 2011
by Brianna Popsickle
Days, now weeks have past since I’ve done something that I’ve come to love, and that is write. It keeps me in my happy place. It keeps things in perspective. It’s like therapy for me, and it’s free!
I’ve started many columns over the last few weeks. Once when my husband blurted out something silly, another time when I was embarrassed and felt the need to share it with someone, and once while reflecting on how great life can be while lying on a beach. The key word is ‘started’. There were more but I never finished any of them.
What’s it all about? Really. It’s a question that’s come up often recently with friends. We’ve hit that magic age when you start to reflect on what you’ve done with your life and how you want to live out the second half.
Many of them have regrets. They wish they’d taken the promotion that would have moved them across the country, they shouldn’t have married so young, they should have invested their money or chosen a different career. The list goes on and on.
As for regrets, I don’t like looking back, there’s no point in it. The past is past. I figure I’ve ended up exactly where I’m supposed to be. Not to say I don’t sometimes wonder why I am where I am. But I figure that will become evident to me eventually.
My friends also have long lists of what they want to accomplish in their second half. One wants to start a business, another to spend all his days fishing, more than a couple want to travel the world, while one is still searching for love.
As for planning how to live the next half of my life, I don’t like to look too far ahead. Someone asked me if my husband and I discuss plans for our retirement. Sure we sock money away on the chance we live long enough to need it, but as for planning years down the road, I don’t. I’ll talk about what I’m doing this weekend or maybe even this summer, but I don’t like to plan years down the road. What’s the point? Life can change in an instant.
At my last job interview I was asked where I saw myself in five years. I surprised the interviewer when I answered, “I don’t. I don’t look that far ahead.” I knew it wasn’t the answer he was looking for, but I got the job.
Although I don’t make plans for my own future, I do get excited listening to the plans of others. I envy them for having something they want so bad they can taste it. I’ve always enjoyed that about my sister. For years she’s told everyone she wanted a cottage on the water, and for years she went to open houses and drove countless miles searching for the perfect one. I think many thought it would never happen. They thought it was all talk and she just loved the hunt. When she finally realized her dream recently and purchased a lakefront property, I couldn’t have been happier for her. I felt like somehow, I’d won.
I envied her for knowing what she wanted and for going after it. Knowing what you want is half the battle.
I know a woman who is constantly changing careers, changing husbands, continually moving from house to house, taking one trip after another. Every year she sends an update in her Christmas card saying this is the year she’s going to downsize, slow down and simplify. But it never happens. She’s continually searching, but for what?
I remember her telling me her plans, what she wanted to do and where she wanted to travel. Then she asked me what I was going to do. “I’m doing it,” I replied. She looked at me like I had two heads, or at the very least, like I was some sort of underachiever.
For a brief moment I wondered if something was wrong with me. Why wasn’t I signing up for courses, looking at travel magazines or joining a cause? Truth be told there have been some things I’ve wanted, I’ve just never voiced them for fear of jinxing them or maybe, since I’m being honest, for fear of failure. Regardless, I prefer to live my life pursuing things quietly, in my own way, with no need to disclose them to anyone.
When I look at my life and where I’m at, I see myself surrounded by loving friends and family. I’m married to a good man who’s always supported my choices. I have children who have become better people than I’d ever imagined.
And that’s all I ever really hoped to achieve.
So although I may not be traveling the world, changing my life or the lives of others, it in no way means I’m an underachiever.
It might just mean I’m content.
And isn’t that what everyone’s looking to be?
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More commentsI enjoyed reading the article.Thank you for reading and taking the time to comment Hifzur. Also thanks for joining my fan club. I appreciate it!
Believe it or not I think the same way you do at times.I don't like to plan to far ahead and i only think of the good things in the past.I have 3 kids 8 Grandchildren and 1 great grandchild on the way.I have a great wife of 42 years and still young at 61.I really enjoyed readind your article keep up the good workGrandchildren are one thing I (not so secretly) look forward to! Thanks so much for reading and commenting. Nice to hear from you.
Hi Brianna. I am with you on this. Through and through. And don't think to little of yourself. You are changing lives - for the better! Thank you for being you and not trying to be your friends and keeping up with the Jones' who are they anyway?Thanks so much for the great comment Teresa.
When we get to Heaven we shall find out that the Hokey Pokey is tantamount and that's what it's all about!Your back must be feeling better. You don't sound the least bit cranky. Thanks for the humorous comment. Always a pleasure. :)
YES! someone who is wired like me! I do not have "long term goals" - I am living one day at a time and loving every minute of that. I always felt guilty when people asked about "long term goals" and went overboard when they asked for 5 year goals and 10 year goals.I finally grabbed onto one that fits - my life goal is to go to heaven to be with the Lord Jesus and take just as many people with me as possible - that seems to be a goal which can matter for eternity and that's what we have been given by His death on our behalf.... eternity!Sounds like a good goal Marijo! Nice to hear from you.
This is exactly what I am looking for, Brianna. You said it all. Life's contentment is not included going to the moon and reaching to the stars to call fulfillment but rather, life is just down your feet where you stand.
Great one, Brianna !Thank you Hilda. I"m sure you'll find it! :)
Love this, Brianna! A woman after my own heart. :)I can see that in you Jean. Thanks for reading and commenting. (And Happy Anniversary!)
Another gem, Brianna. I'm still in shock that you were so honest in your interview and told them you didn't look that far (five years) ahead. Good for you....shows your contentment with where you are, and your honesty too. Good job!!!The older you get the easier it is to be completely honest isn't it? :) Thanks for reading and commenting Dave. It’s always nice to hear from you.
Hi Brianna.
Somehow I just knew what you were leading up to. :) I see nothing wrong with contentment. It's my preferred mode. I think it's best to be happy now rather than sometime in the future when you finally get what you've always wanted. Best to want what you all ready have!
And as for your first comments, what you have to say is always relevant. And it doesn't matter who else might have all ready said it. I'm sure that I haven't written a completely novel thought yet. But what matters is that you bring your own personal slant to it. You say it in your way. I'm always interested in your perspective.
Great article! Really hit home for me!
Hugs,
DianneThanks Dianne. I appreciate your comment very much.
I'm very late reading this, Brianna, sorry. I love what you've written here, it makes me feel somehow safe, and that the real value in life lies in who we are, not in what we "achieve". That achievement thing can be so seductive and addictive, it can suck a person dry. I admire you for what you've done with your life so far, and how you live it, you're an inspiration to me!I think you're right Jennifer . Sometimes striving for achievement can suck a person dry. I've seen it happen. And you think once they get there they'll be happy but they just want more. I'm not sure about me being an inspiration but I am very flattered by your comment. Thank you.
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