Are You Getting Any?
Posted: Wednesday, February 09, 2011
by Brianna Popsickle
All I wanted was a little customer service as I struggled to set up an online account.
Instead, I found myself on hold for the fifth time in two days, wondering whose job it was to select the music I was listening to.
The monotonous elevator music was droning on for what seemed like forever when I turned to the contractor working on my kitchen and said, “Do you not think they’d play something that would put you in a good mood while you waited?” The music was making me irritable and I hadn’t even spoken to them yet.
“We appreciate your patience as we’re experiencing a high volume of calls.”
I couldn’t help but wonder if the online account was as easy to set up as they advertised why they were experiencing such a high volume of customer service calls.
The message continued, “The next available representative will be with you shortly. Your time is important to us.”
Twenty minutes later I realized two things. They had no sense of time, and my time meant nothing to them.
I waited and waited some more. I wasn’t hanging up. I knew they wanted me to, but I wasn’t. I was in it for the duration. I was calling for customer service, and I was determined to get some.
Moments later, I was relieved to hear the recording indicating the wait was almost over.
“This phone call may be recorded for training purposes.”
Just once, I thought, I’d like to throw them a curve ball and before they could introduce them self say, “I may be recording this phone call for accountability purposes.”
Accountability. There is none. They had my name, my email address, my mother’s maiden name, even my banking information. I had nothing. Not even the name of the girl taking the call since she blurted it out so quickly, I missed it. She wanted it that way. She didn’t want me knowing her name, because she didn’t want to be held accountable for what they were about to put me through.
As we talked I was very aware of other representatives in the background. In fact, I could hear them more clearly than the girl talking to me. Was she really in a room filled with people wearing headsets answering calls, or was it a sound track designed to make callers think they’re busy?
Sure. I was on hold for half an hour because you’re so busy.
I knew I was in trouble when I explained my situation and the girl said, “I see by our records you’ve called about this before. I’m going to transfer you to one of our technicians who deals with this problem specifically.”
Being put on hold for a second time during a call is never a good sign. I settled back in my chair and made myself comfortable as I pictured a room full of technicians arguing over who would have to take my call.
I was giving my contractor the play-by-play when someone came on the line.
“Hello, this is Raoul, how can I help you?”
“You drew the short straw eh Raoul?” I joked.
“Pardon ma’am,” he said puzzled.
“Oh you may not get it now, but you will,” I promised, and began giving him my history.
Just as all customer service representatives begin the call in the same way, I’ve noticed they end them the same as well.
After explaining how to resolve the issue, and sometimes walking you through several steps, they conclude in their happiest sing song voice, “Are you happy with the service you received today?” I usually reply, ‘yes’ because I assume what they did actually worked.
It’s only later, after I’ve hung up, that I realize the problem still exists, meaning I’d have to begin the process all over again the next day with someone new.
Recently I called the help line and got a message saying due to a storm, they were short staffed. Wait times could be longer. I was pleasantly surprised when someone answered fairly quickly.
His name was Gil. He was different from any customer service representative I’d ever spoken to. He wasn’t quick to promise me anything or give me false hope that he could solve all my problems. Instead he chatted like a friend about the problems I’d encountered. He was soft spoken and sympathetic. I pictured him leaning back in his chair with his feet up, sipping a coffee.
He asked what product I was selling online. When I told him it was a book I’d written, he asked for the name of it.
“Brianna Popsickle’s Letters from a Suburban Prison,” I replied.
He hesitated a moment then asked, “Are you Brianna Popsickle?”
“Yes, I am.”
“Are there pictures?” he asked slyly.
“It’s not that kind of book,” I replied.
Let’s just say although I didn’t get satisfaction, I did make a sale. When my account still wasn’t working the next day it all made perfect sense to me. Gil wasn’t a service representative at all, but more likely the snow removal guy smoking some funny stuff during his break.
During days of repeated calls to the help line, I couldn’t help but be reminded of a Seinfeld episode. Jerry had reserved a rental car but when he went to pick it up there were none available.
Frustrated, he lamented, “Anyone can take a reservation, it’s keeping the reservation that counts.”
I think it’s the same with customer service and it’s something companies should be more aware of.
Anyone can offer customer service, it’s giving customer service that counts.
I don’t know about you, but when it comes to customer service, I’m not getting any.
This Article has been viewed 1,911 times. (Not updated in real-time.)
More commentsThis is almost unreal Bri- I went through the exact same thing a couple weeks ago, when I had to call the service that I pay every month to have techs do whatever to my computer. This time, I needed to have it wiped for viruses. Of course we all hear these same recordings everytime we call some place like this, what I'm mostly talking about is, my thoughts and responses were identical to yours....LOL we must have a similar cynical sense of humor! Good article- as always- Thanks- enjoyed it- Always- EllaYes, I think we do have a similar sense of humour Ella. You get me! Thanks for reading and commenting.
Hi Brianna.
Regarding the hold music ... just be glad it's no longer the holiday season.
I must admit that your title tantalized me. I should have known better. ;) Generally, I don't get any either.
A couple of years ago we switched Internet providers. Our "new" e-mail address ends in "q.com." You'd be surprised how many people will not recognize "q.com" and it's for Qwest. They're huge! Anyway, one of them is my website host. After several months and God only knows how many phone calls and e-mails trying to get them to fix the problem, I finally gave up and established a Yahoo e-mail account. But I still don't remember to check it except now and then.
I enjoyed your article and your wit. Very nice!
Hugs,
DianneI feel bad for you for the trouble you had with internet, but hearing your sad story Dianne somehow made me feel better. :) I guess we're all in this age of technology together! Nice to hear from you, glad you enjoyed the article.
Only you could get away from with a title like that-i thought you were going to talk about Vegetables!
I heard you can get a college degree in Customer Service- figures.The title grabbed you eh Bing? Thanks for reading and commenting, always good to hear from you.
hi bri,
catchy title:)
one of the things i dread the most,
is calling online businesses.
thanks for making me smile,
my best,
sueGlad I could make you smile Sue! Anytime. :)
So true. I'm sure we've all encountered these typical "I need help calls" with the usual pleasant assistance that appears to come from another planet. I can't help but smile, but then this time, it wasn't me. I'm not laughing at you, but rather with you! Keep trying. Someone out there will come through! :)They did. I think my PalPal Button on SearchWarp is finally working. Fingers crossed. :)
Brianna, what an attention getting title and story that all can relate to. The lack of "service" is particularly annoying these days with so many people whining about not having a job. I wonder why? I'm reminded by an old buddy, "Service" is an animal husbandry term, yep, IRS is a good example.
; ) JBYes John, it seems many can relate. Thanks for reading.
Oh, my blood boiled as I read this, Brianna! I absolutely hate lip service to service, hate the crappy music they play on the phone, HATE WAITING, hate that they never employ enough people to answer the phones. Right, I'm going to stop now before I have apoplexy. Not quite sure what apoplexy is, but it sounds appropriate!Take a breath Jennifer! :) Sounds like you know exactly what I was feeling. Hey, your book has been sent, let me know when you get it ok? Have a great day!
Fantastic article Brianna, I always enjoy your writing. I must confess that I have NEVER been in any way helped by any form of customer service, they always have me talk to the next person and the next and keep me on hold till I hang up.
But then after you hang up you realize in order to get it fixed you'll have to start all over and call again. SO frustrating. Thanks for reading Sydney and for your comment.
Very good article, Brianna, as always. So many of us have experienced this same type of situation and I think the sensations we feel must be somewhat akin to 'road rage'. You handle the situations so much better than I do, though. I always end up demanding (loudly) to speak to a supervisor. (believe it or not, it usually turns out for the best when I do... maybe I should just begin by asking for one.) :-) I enjoyed reading this, LindaThanks Linda. It is a lot like road rage. So infuriating. Thanks for reading and commenting!
Hi Brianna! Great rant! I laughed and felt your pain, I don't any either, but in my line of work, I sure give it all day long, every day!!!!!I bet you give great service Teresa. I'm glad this gave you your laugh for the day! :):-) Now that things are in pretty good order, I can send you that script. I'll send it to you tonight.Very cool! Excited to see it. :)
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