Right Where You’re Supposed to Be
Posted: Sunday, October 10, 2010
by Brianna Popsickle
Some people believe everything happens for a reason and we're exactly where we're supposed to be. I believe that, on a good day. Lately, it's my daughter who needs convincing.
She landed a position in her field several weeks before graduation. The job was two hours away from the university. She managed to buy a car, move, start working, and complete school all at the same time.
My mother's been in bad health for years, confined to her home, on oxygen twenty-four hours a day. Although she has caregivers come in a couple of times a week, my father cares for her like no one else could. Married fifty-seven years they're an example of what commitment is all about.
My daughter is twenty-two. Bright, energetic, outgoing and strong-willed she's a force to be reckoned with. She has more friends than I can count and likes to be doing something, anything at all times. Unfortunately her friends are everywhere but there, and finding things to do in the small town isn't easy especially when people her age move away at the first opportunity.
So what do you get when you throw a twenty-two year old, whose left her boyfriend and friends behind, in with a couple of eighty-year olds who are accustomed to doing things their own way?
Plenty of stories, that's what. Some are hilarious and some heart-warming. And I hear them all, from both sides.
When she first moved in I jokingly asked her if she made her bed, because she didn't often make it when living at home. She replied, "No don't be silly. Grandpa does that." I shouldn't have been so shocked. My dad was never in the military but you could bounce a quarter off any bed he made. He's stubborn and likes things done his way and most often he likes to do everything himself. At my insistence she put a stop to it and began making her own bed. She's pleaded with him to let her take care of herself but he continues to set out her breakfast dishes each morning and prepare a big meal each evening. He refuses to let her do dishes. Like she said, he likes doing it.
They've shared many laughs and one story was particularly funny. My father had said he was going grocery shopping. My mother had been lying down and got up to use the washroom, but the bathroom door was locked. She knew my father was out and saw my daughter in the kitchen. She assumed the window had been left open and the wind had blown the door shut.
She had to use the washroom and couldn't do the stairs to use the other one. She explained her dilemma to my daughter, who found the whole situation funny and began to laugh. My mother started laughing along with her and soon was in dire need of the washroom. My daughter got down on her hands and knees to try and pick the lock with a bobby pin. Just as she was attempting to unlock it, the door swung open and out walked my father, startling both of them. They startled him. All three let out a yell. He hadn't heard the commotion outside the door as he's hearing impaired. When my mother and daughter saw the expression on his face, they began to laugh all over again.
With each story I hear, one thing is apparent to me. My daughter is there for a reason. She moved in at a time when my parents needed some life in their lives, and she's being given an opportunity many people never get, a chance to get to know her grandparents as an adult.
I was fortunate to have a close relationship with each of my grandparents. My maternal grandfather was an artist and I'll always treasure Sundays spent with him. I'd help pile wood and then sit and watch while he drew owls, farm animals, and flowers. I learned from him and went on to become a retouch artist.
My maternal grandmother lived with us for several years before having to go to a nursing home. She'd teach me German as we did dishes together each night. She was wise and witty, and said things like, "Never get married until you find a guy with a golden ass," or "There's a lid for every pot." I'll never forget coming home from school and hearing her sing from her rocking chair, alone in her room. I'd love listening to stories of when she was a young girl.
My paternal grandmother was a sweetheart. I'd sometimes take my lunch to her house during my summer job and play cards with her. She loved bingo, the horse races, dancing, and a house full of people. She loved life. I got to know my grandfather too who, although outwardly crotchety much of the time, had a soft spot that only I seemed to see. He had served in the war and was hearing impaired like my father. I remember thinking he was misunderstood by many.
I feel for kids today whose busy schedules or distance between them, don't allow them to get to know their grandparents. I think knowing mine, helped me to better understand my parents. It's good to know where you've come from.
As I was writing this my daughter telephoned. She's slowly adjusting to the quieter lifestyle and slower pace, but was excited about joining a karate class. She shared a few stories, but our conversation was cut short when Dancing with the Stars came on, a show she now looks forward to watching with her grandparents, right up there with Wheel of Fortune. She took time to share one last story, one that sent shivers through me.
There had been a thunderstorm and she awakened to hear her grandmother calling for my father. She raced upstairs to find the power had gone off and the oxygen tank had stopped running. My mother was gasping for air. My father couldn't hear my mother's cries. My daughter woke him and watched and learned as he quickly switched the tank to a battery-operated unit. Next time she would be able to do it for them.
Did she end up there by chance? I don't think so. She's there for a reason. She's taking care of them and they're taking care of her.
Sometimes in life, even though we may not see it at the time, we're exactly where we're supposed to be.
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Top-level comments on this article: (10 total)Your article has given me goose bumps, Brianna. I've never known a happy family life, so it's really rewarding to read about yours.This reminded me a little bit of the Gilmore Girls - although your fabulous daughter sounds a whole lot more feisty! She reminds me of somebody, now who could it be? Oh that's right, it's you :)I've just re-read your bio - it's divine.Thanks so much Jennifer. Believe me, my daughter is far more feisty than I! She and my mother are the two strongest women I know. I'm sorry you've never known a happy family life, it's something I never take for granted and am thankful for each day. I appreciate your reading and commenting.
I enjoyed reading this story Brianna, I never knew my granparents they all died before I was born. Well my granfather on my fatgher's side died when I was about 4 or 5 years old so I never knew him.I"m glad you enjoyed the article David. It's too bad you never got to know your grandparents. Did your parents share stories with you about them? Thanks for reading and commenting David.
Often, we rarely get to see even a glimpse of 'the man behind the curtains', the Almighty ONE, who operates all the switches and levers into our lives, 'on stage', and this was such a glimpse, for you.
The extended family usually disperses everyone in totally different directions stranding us all; this time, everyone's 'blueprint' was meant to congeal back together, again, for support and sustenance, to return the original love given by the core family, right back to where it all began.
We all need to see and acknowledge those loving apronstrings of that Big Guy behind the curtains who choreographs even the smallest details of our lives; when we do, we feel that we are worthy and that life has celestial purpose.
Much affection,
PaulI totally agree Paul. You said it so well. We may think we have control sometimes, but we don't, he's always directing us. Much affection right back to you.
Great story Brianna- your articles are so comforting to the human soul- They give us hope that everything is not completely crazy in this world. I do also believe that everything happens for a reason- even if we can't see that reason sometimes for a long time. And everything happens when it's supposed to- and what we do is what we need to do for our own good. The older we get the more time we have to look back on and plainly see these things- Thanks for reminding us- Always- EllaThank you Ella, and you're welcome. You're right about seeing things more clearly as we get older. Sometimes I want to point things out to my children but stop myself knowing it will take away the experience of living their own life and learning from their own mistakes, discovering things for themselves. Maybe when I'm ninety I'll look back at this stage of my life and it will make sense to me. Thanks for reading and commenting.
Great and humorous story!Thank you Marijo!
Thats it Brianna! I totally agree, there is no such thing as randomness, and even if some little things may seem odd and random, they are just stairs to more bigger and meaningful reasons. Thank you for sharing!You're welcome Hyun Soung! Thanks for reading and commenting. Have a great day!
Brianna, what a lovely, humorous story. Yep, I agree all things happen for a purpose.
JohnThank you John. I appreciate your taking time to read and comment.
Very interesting! My friend lost her mom from cancer last year, and I keep telling her that everything happens for a reason--and you are so right, we may not see it now, but one day it may become quite clear. Thank you for sharing your poignant and funny stories! -BrombergIt's so hard to understand the reasoning when we lose someone we love, like with your friend. I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment Bromberg. Thank you.
Lovingly told. So wonderfully right on. It shows your abundant heart, and your clear cut understanding of life all the way down to its minutiae, which of course, is where life really is.Thanks so much for reading and commenting Christofer. I appreciate it.
This was a great story Brianna, my grandparents were fun to be around most of the time. I always thought the cultual differences were fun and that they were just nice people. They died when I was a teenager so I never got to know them when I was an adult, but I have some fond memories. You and your daughter are very lucky.It sounds like you have good memories of your grandparents although you didn't get the chance to know them as an adult. I was lucky to know mine, and I think my daughter is grateful for this time with hers as well. Thank you for reading and commenting Mark, and for joining my fan club. I appreciate it!
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