When Life Gets in the Way of Living Your Life
Posted: Tuesday, September 21, 2010
by Brianna Popsickle
I'm a creature of habit. I like routine. I get up at the same time each day, eat my usual breakfast and hit the gym. When I walk the dog she instinctively knows where and when to cross the street because she's become accustomed to our route. I call my mother and a couple of friends each day, if I miss a call they wonder what's happened.
Recently, due to my son going back to university, my husband going back to work (teaching), and my starting a new job, life has become anything but routine.
We're coming and going at different hours, having meals far too late into the evening and arriving home to countless voice mail messages and emails from people wondering what we're up to. My old life (which I'd grown quite accustomed to and happy with, I might add) has all but disappeared.
The only constant? I still don't sleep.
There are those who believe the grass is always greener' always wanting what others have. But I've never been one of them. Despite its ups and downs, I've always known my life was good. I've never wanted to trade with anyone. I didn't want my life to change, but it did. A new phase has begun. It's caused a minor disruption in my life, but what's surprising to me is the disruption it seems to have caused in the lives of those around me.
My girlfriend says she misses me. Our usual daily conversations have become less frequent and when we talk she thinks I sound different. I've received emails from people at the gym wondering if I'm okay and messages from my sister wondering why I haven't returned her calls. My dog's left outside for hours at a time rather than being curled up at my feet as I worked at the computer. The mailman wonders what I've been up to and the bread guy at the grocery store wonders where I've been. The elderly neighbour said she watches me coming and going, and misses our chats. Who knew while I was routinely living my life, my life had become part of others' routines.
As for me, I haven't had time to write, which is something I'd come to love. I haven't had time to read, something I'd always looked forward to. Once the highlight of my day, (and something I did for my own sanity and well-being) my workouts are less frequent. I don't have as much time to talk with friends and family about the important stuff and more importantly, the unimportant stuff.
I'm desperately missing people who haven't gone anywhere. When I talk on the phone with my mother, I'm suddenly painfully aware of her growing weaker. I regret not having visited more often when I had the chance.
My house is a mess compared to what it once was and when I plan meals these days, I plan on leftovers from the leftovers. I admit to dusting around the knick-knacks. And as I write this, my husband is hollering, "I'm out of clean underwear."
For whatever reason life has changed, but I know we'll adjust. Still, there are moments I can't help but wonder why it's changed. Why I am where I am. Why I'm doing what I'm doing.
As I recounted my latest day at work, (while dining with my husband on -you guessed it- leftovers), it became clear to me.
I told him about the woman who came to me for advice on treating rosacea, which covered much of her face. I told him how relieved she was to know there was a treatment that might help her and cosmetics that could help her feel beautiful again. I told him about the ninety-eight year old man who stopped to talk with me, sharing his life story and words of wisdom, returning later to show pictures of his deceased wife of fifty-seven years and his great-great grandchildren. I told my husband about the young woman with three small children in tow, looking for something to cover scars from a snowmobile accident she'd miraculously survived and described to me in detail.
Suddenly I realized there was a purpose to my being where I was and doing what I was doing, just as there's a purpose in everything every one does. Because no matter what we do, in some way it affects the lives of those around us, whether we know it or not.
My life may have changed, but I haven't. I know what's important to me and who's important. Those people I've been missing haven't gone anywhere. It was me who left. No matter how hectic the schedule is I'll find time for every one of them, because without them my life would be empty. There will be time for them, and for all those I've yet to meet.
I still eat the same thing for breakfast each day. I still walk the same route with my dog. But I've come to realize as much as I've always been a creature of habit and stickler for routine, change can be good.
If you let it.
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More commentsWhat a wonderful article, Brianna...again. :) Seeing how you've adjusted your attitude has got to be an inspiration to many.I guess we could all use an attitude adjustment now and then. Thanks for taking time to read and comment Joyce, I appreciate it.
Hi Brianna.I think you are making your way through this change much more gracefully than I would. And you are helping people and making their lives better. Who wouldn't want to do that?This is a lovely article and well written. I has really spoken to me ... on many levels. Thanks!Hugs,DianneThank you Dianne. Gracefully? I'm not so sure. But I'll give it all I've got. Thanks for reading.
Change is essential, as long as we remember who we are. Great job.Can we ever forget? Thank you Michael. It was good to hear from you.
I have missed reading your words of wisdom. Another great read Brianna.GraceThank you Grace. By the way, I love your new picture too. I think it was Ella who said she looks at it and can hear you laughing. It's very nice.
I was wondering where you've been. I guess I was away when you went back to work. Sounds like you have a very rewarding job. Change is hard but as all have said it sounds like you're taking it in stride. I'm sure you'll find the perfect balance in your life for you in time. Miss you and your writings.
Wow, it's so nice to hear I've been missed. As for rewarding, I think every job has it's merits. Like I said ,everything everyone does, (including the person at the coffee shop who prepares your first coffee of the day)everything we say and do, affects the lives of the people around us. Thanks for reading and commenting Linda. Nice to be back.
I so much enjoyed your article Brianna- It really hit home with me as I too am in the midst of changing my own life- You are so right! Change can be good if you let it. I can feel myself becoming happier already, and intend to continue with the changes when I get back home. Life is continuous change, it seems- and we must be prepared to rise to the occasion. Thanks Brianna- I needed that.- Always- EllaI hope the changes you make get you exactly where you want to be Ella. Life is short. Thanks for reading and commenting. - Brianna -
I have an article titled "change is the law of life" things do change in our lives however we can adjust to them if we try.Good article BriannaThank you David. I agree with what you said in your article. Change is inevitable so we may as well go with it as best we can. Thanks for reading and commenting.
Great article Brianna...keep adding values to SW...Thanks for sharing...You're welcome! What I love about SearchWarp is the fact it has many writers with high moral values. Thanks for reading and commenting Chiradeep, I appreciate hearing from you. I'll do my best!
Loved reading this. My life routine is erratic at best and all over the place most of the time. P eople seem to get me, think I am organised and always there when I need to be! I wish my body and I felt the same. If I do it, it's on auto pilot. That nice routine you had sounds pretty yummy to me. I wonder how long I could last knowing exactly what the day held for me?My routine was definitely yummy. This has been quite an adjustment, but I'm getting there. As busy as you are, you're always there when needed. That's important! Not many can pull that off! Thanks for reading and commenting Jill.
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