Cool by Association
Posted: Thursday, July 15, 2010
by Brianna Popsickle
I've always admired cool people probably because I've never mastered being cool myself. I came close once. I was twenty and about to purchase my first car. I'd narrowed it down to a candy apple-red Sunfire, with black leather interior, a VHS cassette player and a sunroof or, a two-tone cream coloured Horizon, squeaky clean and good on mileage.
People are cool for different reasons, but one thing they have in common is the cooler I think they are, the more awkward I become.
I was twenty and shopping with a girlfriend in a music store. A very cute clerk started talking with me and eventually asked for my number (which I rarely gave out). But this guy was smooth and so cool. I gave him my number and a big smile. I turned to leave, however, and walked face-first into a sign, knocking it to the ground. I calmly stepped around it and kept on going, never looking back. I knew he'd witnessed the whole thing, as did my girlfriend, who doubled-over laughing.
My husband was beyond cool when we met. He had a journalism degree, a list of fifteen previous addresses, and hitchhiked everywhere carrying everything he owned in a green army bag. He'd given up a great job at a prestigious newspaper and had enrolled in an underwater welding course. Upon graduation he planned to travel the world, get a job on a boat and write about it. He was spontaneous and a little crazy, everything I wasn't.
One day the girls in my office were gathered at the window when one yelled, "Brianna, you should see this. Some guy's getting changed behind his car door in the parking lot." I looked out and said, "Yup, I'm pretty sure that's the guy I'm meeting for lunch." We ate in the cafeteria, him, wearing his best t-shirt and jeans, surrounded by suits and ties. I said very little, but hung on his every word, so nervous I barely touched my food. Over twenty years later, he remembers those early days fondly. These days he can't get me to stop talking (or eating for that matter).
The day I met my husband I knew he was cool, and it didn't take me long to realize it wasn't just his looks and attitude that made him so. Soon after we began dating, his grandfather, whom he was very close to, passed away. Given the opportunity to choose two items from his grandfather's house, he chose his worn, tattered wallet and a red hankie, the two things he carried closest to him. Picking items with sentimental value over monetary value, proved to me just how cool he really was.
You don't have to be cool to recognize it when it walks in a room. And such was the case when the owner of the company I worked for arrived at the office driving a black Jaguar, hat on backwards, earring, longish hair and instead of a traditional brief case, a back pack slung over his shoulder. He was away more than he was in, so I didn't see him often and dreaded those times the others left early, leaving us alone in the office. We had nothing in common, and I was pretty much lost for words when he was around. I totally clam up around cool people, figuring the more I say, the more likely they'll discover I'm not one of them.
Once, he called me at home to invite me, to a function he had to attend to accept an award. I found it a little easier talking to him on the phone and mustered up the courage to say no. He asked again, saying, "I need a date." I said no again. He repeated himself almost as if to say I'm not asking. I reminded myself he was the boss', but was terrified at the thought of the long drive there and back, not to mention all the time in between. There'd be way too much time to talk, and my lack of cool would surely be revealed. I stuck to my guns and declined.
Soon afterwards though, my position changed and I was required to work closely with him. Gradually, I got to know him better, and learned just how cool he really was. I discovered he'd shared his success along the way putting people through school and helping others start their own business. When our company suffered during the economic crisis, his employees were his first concern. It wasn't just his appearance and attitude that made him cool, it was who he was and how he treated people. By the same token, it was inevitable he discovered just who I was, and much to my embarrassment he sometimes referred to me as June (as in Cleaver).
Today I'm older and wiser, and would like to say cool people no longer make me feel awkward or render me speechless, but I'd be lying.
I was working out one day and couldn't help but notice a guy as he moved from one weight machine to another, seemingly unaware anyone else was in the gym. I glanced around to see if anyone else was watching him. How could they not? He was so cool.
He eventually got on an elliptical down from me. When I finished, I walked by to get a spray bottle to clean off my machine. He started talking to me.
Okay, Brianna, I told myself. Be cool. Don't say anything stupid.
I sprayed my machine however, and began to blather on. When I paused for a second he jumped in smiling and said, "Weren't you using the next machine?" I looked at the machine next to the one I'd been cleaning and saw my water bottle sitting on top. I'd been cleaning the wrong one. I felt my face go red, said, "Have a nice day," and exited quickly to the change room.
I was on my way out still mumbling s tupid, stupid, stupid, when a voice behind me said, "Hey, wait up." Gaaad, Cool Guy was leaving at the same time. What were the chances of that? He made small talk as we walked to the parking lot.
I glanced around for my van, suddenly remembering I had driven my teenage son's silver Neon that morning. There were three silver compact cars in a row. I began to get flustered, still trying to pay attention to what Cool Guy was saying.
"This is me," I said, putting my key in the lock.
Wrong car.
I smiled at him. He grinned.
I moved to the next car and tried the key.
Wrong again.
"These cars all look alike, don't they?" I asked, wishing he'd go away, or I could disappear.
I moved to the final silver car. He moved with me. I opened the car door, got in and rolled down the driver's window.
Cool Guy leaned in, and glanced around the car.
A Spiderman figurine hung from the rear view mirror. There were roller blades in the passenger seat, empty pop cans, food and various articles of clothing strewn about the back seat.
"My son's car," I said embarrassed.
He smiled and said, "Have a good one, see ya round."
Not if I see you first, I thought, then started the engine. Immediately, my son's head-banging music blared. The car shook and the muffler rattled as I pulled away.
I gave Cool Guy a half-hearted wave and smiled, reminded of my boss. He'd recently traded his Jag for a family vehicle and yet still managed to have it going on.
Deep down, I knew cool wasn't about the car, it was about who was driving it.
I'd reached an age where I was going to have to accept the fact that I'd never been cool, and probably never would be. Looking on the bright side though, I was married to a cool guy and my kids were two of the coolest people around.
I decided that made me cool by association, and from here on in I'd be happy with that.
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More commentsHi Brianna, again.I don't know why I don't remember to go to the Reader's Club first. I guess the homepage just grabs too much of my attention. Anyway, when I finally remembered, your story popped up first on my list. So I rated it again. The least I could do for such a great story.Hugs, DianneThank you Dianne. I've done the same thing!
Thank you for sharing this.You're welcome Mike! Thanks for reading.
Cool to me is expressing yourself the way you know how or being your own person and having fun along the way. It also entails knowing how to play the game of life, either with street or corporate smarts. I guess having the finer things in life helps, but doesn't really help one's attitude. Technically speaking, some people who are financially stable tend to overlook or miss out on the little things in life.I agree James. I like real people too, people who are who they are and don't try to change for anyone. Thanks for reading and commenting.
When I was in school I spent a great deal of time watching others around me. I was observing their behavior in order to see who they really were. The ones who acted the most suave and cool, were the ones who were the most insecure- they put on their cool act as one might put on a costume- to appear to be something they were not. Then there were the ones who really were suave and cool, who didn't have to act. The difference was easy to see- just being yourself, and who you really are, is what's really cool- You don't have to act Brianna- you really are "cool." Always- EllaGee I wish I would have written this article ten years ago, I feel like I've just come out of the 'uncool' closet. Thank you Ella. I think there are those who are just naturally cool, but you're right, there are those who work at it for sure. I appreciate your reading and taking the time to comment.
Cool is not being blown around by the Eight Worldly Winds!Praise - blame, gain -loss, fame - shame, happiness - despair - I got it Raymond. Thank you.
brianna,interesting perspective. you suggest 'cool' is natural not artificial. it you have it, it doesn't matter-if you don't it matters a bunch. interesting. thank you for writing-bing
brianna,interesting perspective. you suggest 'cool' is natural not artificial. it you have it, it doesn't matter-if you don't, it matters a bunch. interesting. thank you for writing-bingI think you're either cool or you're not. It's not something you can fake, although you can try. Being cool only matters, if it matters to you. Thanks for reading Bing, always good to hear from you.
Oh my dearest Brianna! "Cool" is not about cars and clothes and style. "Cool" is BEING COMFORTABLE IN YOUR SKIN. All those people you think of as cool...they're simply authentic. And so are YOU...at least that's how it feels to me when I read your work. Whaddya think?Well Camille, there's looking cool and there's being cool. Some people manage both. But yes, I agree, it's simply being yourself. That is I guess, cool in itself.Thanks for reading and commenting!
Here we are again on Reader's Club Bri- and you're still cool!That's too cute. And you're too kind. Thanks Ella!
Very interesting topic Brianna and I guess it's very "uncool" of you to think you are not cool compared to others. you said it yourself: cool means different things to different people. To me, I find that you are so cool not just by association but by being the great person you really are. Thank you for this beautiful article :).P.S. I'm a fellow Canadian but you won't see the Canadian flag beside my name because I'm also Egyptian! isn't that so cool ? :)That is VERY cool Heba and I appreciate your taking the time to read and comment. Thank you!
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