The Sadness
Posted: Friday, May 21, 2010
by Brianna Popsickle
Something was missing, but what?
She had it all. At least that's what it seemed to everyone around her. People thought she was beautiful. She had a loving husband, a successful business, wonderful children, great friends, and a nice home. She was always laughing, or smiling at least, and for the most part it was genuine. But sometimes a feeling of sadness would overcome her for no apparent reason. She kept it hidden pretty well, releasing her tears only in private.
It appeared once as a child. Her friends were laughing and playing, and even though she was among them, she wasn't. She was lost inside herself in a moment of sadness that she didn't understand. It left as quickly as it came, but made its' presence known as something to be feared.
Later, in her twenties, surrounded in a room full of people during a sporting event, the sadness snuck up on her again. She watched as others cheered and laughed around her, realizing how completely alone and invisible she felt, and wondered why.
Did everyone experience the sadness but just never talked about it? Why would they? she wondered. She didn't.
Years later, she sat alone staring at a purchase she'd made, having anxiously anticipated it for months. Tears streamed down her face. They say money can't buy happiness, and things are just things. They're right. Something was missing, but what?
Recently, the sadness has reared it's ugly head once more and as much as she tries to hide it, she's afraid those who know her well, may see it in her eyes. She stares back for a moment almost wanting them to see it, hoping they can help free her of it once and for all. But instead she flashes a bright smile, keeping them at a distance, guarding her secret. It leaves her feeling ashamed. Ashamed for feeling sad when she has nothing to feel sad about. She just does.
Sometimes she thinks she has the sadness figured out. Perhaps it comes when everything is good, as a reminder to appreciate everyone and everything in her life. Other times she thinks it comes, urging her to make changes, changes she's not prepared to make.
She suspects she'll live the rest of her life, acknowledging the sadness when it comes along, fearing it less, knowing it will pass as quickly as it arrives.
When she hears about unexpected, sudden deaths, she can't help but wonder if it was their sadness that overcame them. She wonders if talking about it, would have saved them?
Could it save her?
This Article has been viewed 1,628 times. (Not updated in real-time.)
More commentsThank you for this touching article. I can some how relate to it and see parts of these elements in my life.Thank you for reading and commenting Origo. I'm happy when people can relate to what I've written. Thanks also for joining my fan club, I appreciate it!
She needs counselling and direction both spiritually and mentally to overcome the sadness from within her. She is very fragile emotionally. Like a time bomb, it might blast overnight if no action is taken sooner than you know.I believe everyone could benefit from some type of counselling and direction spiritually. I don't think in this particular case she is at a point of losing control. The sadness is rare and brief when she does experience it and she is very aware of it's nature and the fact that it passes quickly. I do think talking about it is a postive step. I believe there are many people who suffer the sadness often and for longer periods of time who never talk about it. They're the people I fear will get lost in their pain, and if they only shared it with someone, knowing others experience the same thing might make it easier for them to deal with. Thanks for reading and commenting Hilda, I appreciate it.
I am glad you were able to share the sadness you sometimes feel. I know for me sharing things I don't want to share always help me. I believe that the emptiness I feel is a hole that can be filled by God. It will be there even though like you I have a wonderful life and all my needs are met. Keep sharing unashamedly, give your life over to God, he will take care of you, and heal the little girt along the way.I believe we're all in his hands. Thanks for reading and commennting Linda. All the best to you.
I suspect a lot more people know this sadness than most of us realize.Thank you for your poignant article.I agree with you, I think there are many who experience it to different degrees. It may not help everyone to talk about it, but I think it could definitely help some. Thank you for reading and taking the time to comment.
Great, thanks. Who knows? You're sensitive.Who knows is right Jack. What's it all about? Thanks for reading.
Brianna~ This is a wonderful piece. It appears you've hit many nerves (by all the responses I've read here!) and offered something that many tangle with. All I have to say is: FEEL WHAT YOU FEEL. There needn't be a "reason"...just as someone said already (here). Emotions have NOTHING to do with logic. They are our guidance system. And they're more valuable than any logic. The trick (I believe) is to find a way to let them both "dance". 'Nuf said.And said very well Camille. :) Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this I appreciate it.
Hi Brianna. I enjoyed your writing. Seems that your writing out of your own experience? I wrote a poem describing the inner pain and turmoil I went through regarding verbal abuse. Its called Cutting Words Have the Power To Destroy.....words of Encouragement Will Reverse the Trend.I think you might enjoy it also.First of all Craig I must thank you for reading and commenting, I appreciate it. I read your poem and was very moved by the fact you so openly shared your experience with us. I hope the future holds good things for you, you deserve it. Keep writing and all the best to you.
Hi Brianna,You always write such engaging stories, whether real stories about your life or hypothetical - you touch many - including me. When I think of the sadness that lies beneath the skin for many, I think it goes back to filling that hole in our hearts that God created just for him and for relationships. If we keep people too far, we can be lonely in a crowd of 1000. I think by sharing our fears and concerns and being vulnerable, we can iliminate the deep sadness and move on to joy - joy is a gift from God that is experienced no matter what our circumstances are. Blessings to you! TeresaJudging by the response to this article, I think many people share similar experiences. When we realize we're not alone in what we feel, it does help to move on. Thank you for reading and commenting Teresa. To say my stories have touched many, including you, is all I could hope for with my writing. Thank you.
As I read this I couldn't help but think of what I have observed recently reading the posts of the young friends of my teens on sites such as Facebook. They have no qualms about expressing these experiences of sadness, but as we age and supposedly mature it seems we find it very difficult to admit to others that we are anything but perfectly happy.You're right about that. It's good kids today feel free to express their feelings and have an outlet such as facebook on which to do it. It's not easy to admit feelings of depression when you know you have everything to be thankful for. Thanks for reading and commenting.
Yeah, I have that feeling of sadness come over me quite often. Except I know what causes mine: Google!I think I understand what you're saying Terry. Sometimes too much information is a bad thing.
More comments
We want your comments! If you can read this, you don't have javascript enabled, so you can't use this comment system. Please enable javascript.