What’s Sexy Anyway?
Posted: Friday, January 01, 2010
by Brianna Popsickle
I stepped on the scale at the gym, five pounds in five days. Damn.
It could have been worse considering the hours I spent sitting in a vehicle traveling over the holidays. Followed by hours of grazing on hors d'oeuvres, turkey dinners and countless desserts. Not to mention the wine. OK, I guess five pounds wasn't bad after all.
Some had a look of sheer determination on their faces as they lifted a crazy amount of weight over their heads. Others moved slowly with that morning after expression, almost begging the girl behind the counter to turn the music down a notch.
I'd decided to push it hard, that five pounds wasn't going anywhere on it's own. I was already starting to work up a sweat when a forty-something blonde hopped on the elliptical next to me. She was sporting a bright fuchsia lycra suit, full makeup, jewellery, and manicured nails. I gasped for breath as her perfume filled the air.
I looked down at the black top and pants I'd worked out in forever and thought of the new lycra set my daughter had given me for Christmas, still laying under the tree. What was I saving it for? I should have worn it . I raised a hand to my hair. It was half-up, half-down. I looked to the blonde, not a hair out of place. Gaaad.
I shrugged it off. I wasn't going to let Barbie get the best of me. We were in a gym for God's sake, not a bar. I increased the level on my elliptical and turned up my iPod.
I glanced at the twenty-something girl to my left. She'd mastered the skill of working out while listening to her iPod and reading. She was deeply engrossed in People magazine's list of Sexiest People of the Year.
There's nothing like looking at pictures of beautiful, sexy people to motivate you to work out, although these days, it isn't all about the exercise. With the right amount of money, cosmetic surgery, botox, breast implants, butt implants, hair extensions, collagen injections and acrylic nails, almost anyone could make the most sexy list.
I can't say I always agree with People's choices, (although they got it right with Beckham and Daughtry. They've definitely got it going on).
Personally, I think sexy is different for everyone. My friend, for example, prefers blondes. My husband prefers brunettes (or so he tells me). My girlfriend prefers younger men, while I prefer older. Another friend almost killed us when she suddenly slammed on the brakes to turn into a service station for three dollars worth of gas. She had spotted a bald guy at the pumps, and bald obviously worked for her.
When I was a teenager, The Partridge Family was a popular show. My friends were all in love with Keith, the oldest brother. I liked Danny, the freckle-faced red head. He was the funny one. And while every woman swooned over Little Joe on Bonanza, I couldn't help but feel warm all over when Hoss smiled his sweet smile. Most women preferred Hutch, I preferred Starsky and for years if you asked me who I thought was the sexiest man alive, I would have said Ed Asner. Yes, I thought he was hot!
Have you ever been so attracted to someone that the mere thought of them could make you tingle all over? I knew such a person and was stunned when a girlfriend, after meeting him, said she just didn't get it.
I've come to realize, sexy is different for everyone.
I wiped the sweat from my forehead, pushed back my hair and glanced at the blonde next to me. She smiled a perfect smile. Was she ever going to break a sweat? What was it about her that made me want to ramp up her speed and squirt her with the spray bottle?
I tried to refocus. This New Year I was going to work at being the best I could be without putting ridiculous expectations on myself, or comparing myself to the so-called beautiful people.
I'd come to terms with the fact that I'd never be blonde like Barbie. I'd never have Jessica Alba's abs, a Jennifer Lopez butt, Pamela Anderson's breasts or Angelina's full lips.
Could I live with that? I suppose. But only because I knew something no one else knew, and I'll let you in on it.
Michelle Obama has Brianna Popsickle arms.
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Top-level comments on this article: (9 total)Another entertaining, humorous article. :) Thanks BriannaThank you Joyce! Happy New Year.
A child dies every minute in the world from hunger.The world is starving and Americans agonize over shedding holday bloating from gorging.There is something very. wrongYou are absolutely right.
You sound precisely like my wife(you slightly resemble like her, actually; one can see the goodness radiating).I am sure that most men like buxom full figured women rather than skinny gals who have to run around in the shower just to get wet; I personally like to KNOW when I've been hugged!Another very well written article that gives others a glimpse into middle America's 'prisoner' psyche. PaulI wasn't exactly radiating 'goodness' when I was having thoughts of spraying Barbie with the water bottle, but I do appreciate the compliment Paul! Thanks for taking the time to read my articles and also for your comments.It wasn't a snub nosed police 38 caliber, but just a spray bottle; you CAN accept my good housekeeping seal of approval goodness award without any qualms.
Well written and entertaining to read. The touch of humor is just perfect. Next time I'm watching tv, I have to check out MO's arms though. Thanks for a good article!Michelle Obama is amazing. (and has amazing arms :) ) Glad you liked the article, and thank you for joining my fan club. I appreciate your taking the time to read and comment.
I'm still trying to get over the Ed Asner thing--OK, I'm over it--another great article Brianna!You're not alone Steve. Not many get the Ed Asner thing. Thanks for the comment, I appreciate it. Happy New Year!
Hi Brianna.I think your main message her was to be happy with and make the most of what you have. I like that message.Great article!DianneYou got it Dianne! Thank you.
Great article, Brianna. I often wonder why we want to be sexy. Does that mean we want EVERYONE to desire us sexually? Even if I got sexy, gee sorry, I just don't have enough time in my schedule for all that sex. ;=)You might want to look at rearranging the schedule a bit Jeff. :)Thanks for reading and commenting, I appreciate it.
Great article. I thoroughly enjoyed it.Thank you Olufemi!
Good point about the artificial methods the most "sexy" candidates in People magazine use. I really think anyone who uses such should be disqualified like you would disqualify athletes for performance enhancing drugs.You're comparison to athletes on drugs is interesting. It used to be when someone saw a beautiful woman, they would say, "She's beautiful." Now they ask, "Do you think they're real?" Same for a man who's suddenly buff. People wonder if he's on steroids. Sometimes that's the case, but there are still those who are naturally beautiful. Thank you Michelle for reading and commenting and for joining my fan club. I appreciate it!
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