November Christmas Blues…
Posted: Friday, November 20, 2009
by Brianna Popsickle
"We've been invited to the Whites for dinner. You better mark November twenty-second in your date book," I told my husband.
"That's this weekend," he replied
"No it isn't, it's in a couple of weeks," I argued.
We checked the calendar.
Can someone please tell me where November has gone?
The flu had me in a fog the last week of October then I put my head down to rake over a hundred bags of leaves, and when I looked up it was the end of November.
Christmas as I've known it will be different this year. Time changes everything so this shouldn't come as such a shock to me, but the truth is, it's hit me hard.
I remember the years when December would be filled with school Christmas plays, piano recitals, candle-lit masses, open houses and get-togethers with friends. My children and I donned our Santa hats, put on the Christmas CD and baked shortbread and macaroons together, a tradition that lasted until they both left for university last year.
When they were younger, we'd celebrate our Christmas Eve a night early, make hot chocolate, pile into the van and drive through the city looking at all the lights. Once home we'd eat Christmas treats while watching National Lampoons Christmas Vacation. Each year my husband and kids would crack up as I'd have an uncontrollable gut laugh watching Chevy Chase run up and down the staircase, with a squirrel on his back.
I'd start Christmas shopping in October and have as many as twenty people on my gift list. I could barely hold back the excitement as I hid gifts throughout the house. My parents would give me money to purchase gifts from them as well. They figured I'd know best what my children wanted. We'd squeeze everything into the van on Christmas Eve for the two-hour drive to my parents. My siblings and their children would also gather there. I'll never forget the expression on my parent's faces as they watched my children unwrap the gifts from them. I don't know who was more excited, my children or my mom and dad.
We'd exchange gifts, eat too much, sometimes drink too much, and get unbearably silly at times. Sometimes we'd dance until the wee hours. When the children were ready for bed, my mother would tell them funnies about when she was little. I'd heard the stories many times before but would never tire of them. Christmas morning we'd pile into the van again and drive another hour to celebrate Christmas with my husband's family. All memories I will cherish forever.
This year things are different. My son has informed us he'll be home for Christmas Eve, but will be going to his girlfriend's relatives in another city Christmas Day. Our daughter, who's worked two part-time jobs throughout university, has to work Christmas Eve and Boxing Day leaving one day in between. Too little time to travel home, she will be spending Christmas with her boyfriend's family.
We cannot make the celebration with my parents and siblings because we want to be here the day our son is home. We will eventually make the rounds and see everyone during the holidays at some point, but it's looking like Christmas Day will be spent just the two of us. I'm not prepared for this. This is happening too soon. I'm always the first to tell others, change is good, life goes on, but I'm sorry, today I'm not feeling it.
I have been so blessed for so long, the thoughts of not being together at Christmas brings tears to my eyes and sadness to my heart. I know what you're thinking, and you're absolutely right. Suck it up, there are people worse off, and I know it. But knowing it doesn't change how I'm feeling at the moment.
I think of people who will be alone over the holidays or worse, are alone all year long. I think of those without food and shelter and people who have loved ones in Iraq or Afghanistan. When I think of them, I'm ashamed of myself for feeling so blue.
People don't expect to hear me say I'm feeling melancholy. Justifiable or not, right or wrong, it's the way I'm feeling. If you find yourself reading this I hope it makes you feel better to know you're not alone, if you too, have a case of the November Christmas blues.
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Top-level comments on this article: (3 total)Do be happy and not sadly nostalgic. As a non Christian, I sefishly wish that Christmas lasted all year round.It's the only time that many mean spirited religious people (not you, certainly) are all so HAPPY.I'm over it. I was just having one of those moments. I'm sure the Christmas season will be wonderful, different maybe, but wonderful just the same. I understand what you're saying, it would be nice if all that 'good will' continued all year long. Thanks for reading and commenting, I appreciate it.
hi brianna,i'm in the same boat.it'll be difficult on the holidays,but, we'll get through them.this was a well written article.my best regards,sueYes we will Sue, and thank you!
thanks for your good sense of humor being shared with us again -- I especially relate to those calendar pages flying fast! MArijoMy grandmother used to say the older you get the faster time goes by. I think she was right! Thanks for reading and for joining my fan club Marijo!
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