I'm a Married Woman in Love with a Married Man
Posted: Tuesday, September 22, 2009
by Brianna Popsickle
I never dreamed I would be saying these words, but " I'm a married woman in love with a married man."
I know what you must think of me, but please don't judge, at least until you've heard my story.
I didn't go looking for it. It just happened. I know it sounds clich, but it's the truth.
Both of us are married, both of us have families. We have a lot in common. Our children are our priority and we share some of the same hobbies. We share some of the same friends as well. We've both reached a time in our life when we've started to question what it is we really want, and how we want to spend the second half of our lives.
When our children grow up and move on, we're suddenly confronted with the realization that it's back to us and our partner. Sometimes we realize our partner isn't the same person we married. Sometimes people change.
I think it can be a dangerous time in a marriage, a vulnerable time. And it's during this time I've fallen in love. When I met my husband years ago, I figured it would be the last time I would experience the joy and excitement of discovering someone perfect for me. But I was wrong. I've recently found someone perfect for me,' and here I am over twenty years later, falling in love again.
But like I said, I didn't go looking for it. It began innocently and caught me off guard.
Busy with our lives, it was never easy to find a way to spend time alone together. Sometimes we'd squeeze in an occasional walk, sometimes we'd go for a drink and sit and talk for hours.
We discussed our children, careers, and our interests. We'd confide in one another and share our hopes and dreams for the future. We discovered we shared many of the same dreams.
He tells me about his love for writing. He speaks with such enthusiasm and passion. His eyes light up, and I see something in him that I saw in my husband many years ago. He's kind and compassionate, strong and yet sensitive. Sometimes he'll call me during the day, just to see how I'm doing, and to tell me he loves me. His voice can cause me to melt.
He can be crazy and unpredictable and gives me flowers just because'. He enjoys the simple things in life like reading a good book, playing a game of scrabble or watching the sunset. He makes me laugh, and sometimes he drives me crazy with his relentless efforts to make the world a better place. "If I'm not part of the solution, I'm part of the problem," he says. His mantra is "Always try, never lie, always help the little guy." He believes it, and he lives it, teaching it to his students and to his own children.
Our children moved on to university, making it a little easier to steal special moments, just for us. We sneak in a movie now and then, holding hands like the other young couples in love. Once, we overcame the guilt and escaped on a romantic island get-away. We created memories we'll cherish forever.
We socialize more often in the same circles. I know some of our friends suspect there is something going on between us. They've noticed we've changed, they know we share a secret. We try not to make it obvious, but sometimes when you're in love, there's just no hiding it.
So you see I really had no choice in the matter. Sometimes love just happens. People fall in and out of love everyday. Who's to judge?
Yes, I'm a married woman and I've fallen in love with a married man. It just happens the man I've found myself falling in love with, is the same man I fell in love with and married, over twenty years ago.
I guess you'd say we're two of the lucky ones. We rode life's waves, sailed through relatively unscathed, and came out stronger than ever.
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More commentsI am experiencing the same way for over a year now. But only when I involved physical desire with it. In my restful mornings, I wake up looking at my husband of many years, pictures of my child, the life that my husband and I had established together for so many years until now that we feel so tired and wearytogether. My husband and I now needs time to feel rested with each other, to move on and to continue the test of time. The "other physical attraction that I have" is just a temptation and I always hope that it will never ruin the family that I had established and had protected for so many years.There's always temptation isn't there Lisa. It's remembering 'what' and 'who' are important to you, that will get you through those times. Thanks for writing and commenting.
> fr AFLIS fr Phils.hi!!!!i'm having the same story...just wondering if my hubby won't suspect... and if he catch me cheating, i know he'll kill me......
Hi Brianna,
Great article :-) may be i need some advise.
Thank You.I'm in no position to offer advice. But thanks for reading Pam and best of luck.
It's funny Brianna, but when I saw this title, I knew exactly who you were talking about-- great article-and great title by the way- I loved it!- Always- EllaThanks Ella. As long as my husband figured out who I was talking about I knew I was okay. :)
hie dear , it's so touching and such a tenderly love you both had. Can i know are you married to your 2nd lover or u are still going one with the secret love ?My 'secret' lover' was my husband Vanessa, and yes we're still going strong, married almost twenty-six years. Thanks for reading and commenting.
thank you for the eye-opening storyYou're very welcome Goode.
Hello Brianna
I cannot tell you how many times i've had my fingers in my hair thinking of what i should do for my situation is not very different from the piece you wrote. Years have gone by and both of us have tried to do the right thing by ending the relationship for we both knew it was the right thing to do.
Only to find a failed attempt. I kept asking myself that :"how could two people so perfect for each other, not be together?"
thank you very much for this article, it really helped me to realise what i should do.
I'm hoping you stuck together and rediscovered one another in ways that first attracted you? Best of luck with whichever way things end up Jay. Thanks for commenting.
Really well done, and didn't go where I thought it was going. That's definitely a good thing. Light and refreshing, it makes me excited for rediscovering my own love affair. :DI'm glad you enjoyed the read and that it's given you something to look forward to! Thanks for reading and commenting Melissa, and for joining my fan club, I appreciate it.
What fun! Little negativity. Lot of compassion. I love a great ending! Maybe love is more like the ocean than we think . . . and your tide came in . . . and out . . . and in . . . and you get the picture. Course you do . . . you wrote it! I love it!I like a great ending too and it's not over yet. The tide may come in and go out many more times before we're done! :) Glad you enjoyed the article and appreciate your comment.
am going through the same but the only difference is that i feel out of love with my husband before i met this other gettleman..just thinking of him puts a smile on my face that i have not had in years.
Thank you for reading. I wish you all the best.
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